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Thursday, June 28, 2007

A quarter of a probable Lifetime Dilemma

It has been 26 fine years...

...having been raised by a family of entrepreneurs, I was made to believe that diploma is not the key to success...nor any master's degree...nor excellent academic records...that no matter how intelligent a person is, grades are not the essentials of surviving the world...that my excellent study habits at a young age might not give me the ticket to succeed...

I'd categorize it as an unpublished propaganda of the family I grew up with that having your own business would better pay off for your needs and wants than neither being employed nor spending too much time in the University for all the degrees possible to attain.

...the classic Monopoly board game was one of our "bonding" activities...and at a young age, it was obvious to me what my father wanted to inculcate in us by playing this game...the Entrepreneurial spirit...a game that really trained my mind and spirit to gain confidence in taking BIG risks to be able to catch the BIG FISH.

...Monopoly, though a game of chance and strategy, quite was my GAME...and I can vividly remember the games I played mostly ended with me as the richest player among all...

...little did I know, a board game then seen as a FUN game, stirred in my subconscious mind to be secretly geared towards aiming at becoming a "conglomerate" in the real world...

to some, that could be GOOD, and to some might be NOT so GOOD, and maybe to some might be BAD...

years in college exposed me to people who had the academe as the priority for a lifetime...students with brilliant minds who depended on scholarships for their entire years of schooling...students who had parents who viewed "success" in a very different light. That success is congruent to gaining Masters Degree...PhDs...graduating with honors...and other priorities what have they more inclined to the academe.

it was with this diverse exposure, when the Then certain entrepreneurial ME started to develop a crisis in priority....

To wit...whether or not success is measured by the amount of money you have....or by the academic achievements you earn...

I recently got in for admission to a Masters Degree program in a field I fairly like in a very good school in Thailand...but none in my family seemed to get excited by the idea of me earning a degree abroad...

...On the contrary, I felt excitement in the air when I raised the idea of starting a business venture that could generate a very good income in a very short time...almost always the topic that fills the gap of silence between family members...business.

...just maybe...

Maybe after years of being away, I have forgotten the values which my family look up to...
...and maybe I just need to relearn the fact, that for some families, MONEY is what keeps the world turning...

...It couldn't be BAD nor GOOD nor SAD...but my decisions at the moment would revolve on priorities my family deems important...for reasons only I can answer...reasons only I can justify...and circumstances only I can understand.

...different strokes for different folks...

...if you were me, you'd probably do it your own way...

..but then again, the horns of a dilemma didn't occur for nothing...
1. (If A, then Y) and (If B, then Z).
2. A or B.
3. Therefore, Y or Z.

...my next few steps in the next few days would be giant leaps to realize one of these options..

with high conviction at the moment that this is definitely the RIGHT option for certain priorities I still deem RIGHT.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

an MVP uncelebrated

I attended my father's birthday party last night...his 54th year it is...
...i just realized i would be half his age this year...

...he might not have been a perfect father, as I have not been a perfect daughter to him...but what really PERFECTS his being and mine...is that very BIG love in our hearts that we don't let out in words through our mouths, but show in deed.

...I am thankful for all the winning moments I had in my life...but I am most grateful for the LOWEST moments...the exact moments when one person would think he/she is at the bottom of a very dark pit, and there might be no chance of seeing the light...For it was also the moment when he taught me how to Bounce Back Higher...and fight my own battles.

Yes, indeed...i see my life as a ballgame...a basketball game indeed...I am the ball and there are players of this Dream Team who dribble and toss me around to score some winning points...but in this dream team, there is one Man who happens to dribble me harder so i could bounce back a little higher than the others do, and tosses me with a little more push to speed up my momentum...that One player who struggles to keep me within boundaries...and makes sure i get to get a shooting point for a winning Game...the One I deem the Most Valuable Player...

MVPs are celebrated...rewarded...famed...

my MVP might have been judged by many...

...but what perfects him before my eyes, is a LOVING HEART...and despite all the twists and turns, I am his daughter and he is my father.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

the kind of stimuli i miss

not that i think i have a superior training...
...not that i think the others are inferior...

but there are times when I would tend to miss the company of people who talked the same talk that i talk...and think the same thoughts that i think...
...not exactly the same, but ones who can negate my ideas in the same level as i would assume it should be...

i never really appreciated the education i was getting...until i got out from THAT system...

THE State university might have been a pool of overwhelming ideas and talents...but it is something i miss wading on...

Yes, indeed...it was such a privilege to have been trained in THAT institution...
and it just struck me lately that people I once exchanged thoughts with on a daily basis are the ones I'd eventually miss when I get out of IT.

So long my fellow ISKOs and ISKAs...until we make such big difference for our country...I hope we meet again...

Monday, June 04, 2007

perfection

You Are 53% Perfectionist

No one would call you a perfectionist, but you definitely have a side of you that strives to be perfect.
Try to see your mistakes as learning experiences, and don't be so hard on yourself when you screw up!

attitude

Your Attitude is Better than 70% of the Population

You have a good attitude. While a realist, you do see the positive side of most things. People love to be around you.

single and happy

You Are Very Happy Being Single

You're not anti-relationship. You just don't need one to be content.
You find plenty of happiness from your life as it is.
And if you find someone you love, then that's just icing on an already decadent cake!

inner me no one can see

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are balanced, peaceful, and sincere.
You're the type of person who goes along to get along.
And you're definitely afraid of rocking the boat.

Underneath it all, you fear your world falling apart.
You'll put up with a situation that you don't like in fear of changing it.
Disruptive and forceful people intimidate you - and sometimes exploit you.

You don't have a boyfriend because....

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Busy

While a relationship sounds nice, you're strapped for time
Whether you're legitimately busy or just making excuses...
... You don't give men enough of your time.
As nice as "instant love" would be, there's just no such thing.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

dilema

Hugh Grant - Way Back Into Love

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past
I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

Oh oh oh

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end





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