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Wednesday, December 26, 2007

...more or less...

more or less i have the life i have always imagined..
..more or less it is exactly my definition of a comfort zone...

...more or less...

...chances are, in this state of being somewhere in the more or less, i don't deny the fact that there must be something else...more or less...

adequate but inadequate

...life has been so preoccupied this year

and i am thankful for the courage i had to take a detour...from the roads traveled by so many...

so fond of that...so typically me...taking detours and finding my way home through the less traveled paths...

it is indeed relatively more tricky and stimulating than ordinary...but a better way to tread...

more or less, i feel so advanced, yet retard than the rest of the "flock"...
while most of them are busy with the "normalcy" of life...here i am...in a state of "more or less"

i cannot be over nor under...

definitely...more or less

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

glory to BLOG!

one cannot find 2 Blogs to be ever the same

..to the generation X's and Y's...BLOG is essentially essential...

...to the generation earlier than that...BLOG is nothing but literally the sound of a THUD!...as in...BLOG! BLOG!

I find time to read other people's blogs to cast my worries away...
...true enough...it is becoming a modern era WAILING wall...a CANVASS so dynamic and so unique...in many forms and many COLORS...different strokes for different folks...

human nature is so VIVID in these BLOGS...of wanting to be different from the REST...of saying the MIND out loud...Of ranting and raving about what stirs the heart and mind...with no apprehensions...and the nature of wanting to be heard...and acknowledged...and recognized...

BLOGging in the world of 10101010101...binary as they say...

...who knows what's in store for the Generations next...
if it had been fat feet and sturdy joints that evolved in the past, the future might be literally Big-headed, fat-fingered, gizmo-like, virtually-expressive creatures wailing on virtual walls....

and so currently it is called...

...BLOG!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Too YOUNG to be OLD

all of a sudden, i feel a tinge of LONELINESS..
...Loneliness in a far deeper sense...far from the ordinary loneliness of being left by a loved one...or the common pain of being literally ALONE...

...am really out of words...

for once in my entire lifetime, I suddenly feel so YOUNG to be OLD...
...coz while people my age are busy finding themselves...starting their own families...finding a way to leave the country by any means...pencil pushing for master's degree, among other mid TWENTY-something's concerns, here I am literally in a state of BUSYness...

Maybe am old enough to start a business...but I might be too young to handle it with composure...let's just say, TOO YOUNG to be OLD...

It is a state of LIMBO...i cannot categorize myself as SUCCESSFUL...nor would I say that I am a FAILURE... not yet there...but might be getting somewhere...

HOPEFUL...but LONELY...
...coz it seems no one could understand...not people my age..not people older...

and so I toss and turn on one of my many sleepless nights...brainstorming even in my dreams...with no one to talk to...coz it seems not so many would understand my concerns...MATTERS which are TOO MATURE for my age...TOO LIGHT for the elders...

...definitely the PRICE of taking the ROAD less traveled...of trying to make new PATHS...

How Old AM I then..
...the figures I AM sure...
...but my burdens I AM NOT...
Coz, yes maybe: am just TOO YOUNG to be OLD....

Thursday, November 01, 2007

untraditional tradition

i stopped by at the doorstep of a boarder at our frontage on the night of Nov 1...and i noticed 5 candles lit on the stairs...

tradition...
customs...

it is how it is...

for one who did not grow up exposed to such, i find this quite peculiar...and i had to take time to rationalize its essence.

to begin with, that boarder happens to work in a Callcenter nearby. Very nostalgic for me...since I was then in the same situation...not being able to come home on very significant events such as Christmas, New Year's day, Holy Week..and yes, All Souls' day... the callcenter molded my character in many different ways...that to eke out a living and to be able to survive the world, trivial and important sacrifices need to happen everyday of my life...and by such, reap rewards.

...customs....
...traditions...

while most families gather at the cemetery in loving memory of their relatives who passed away, i took time to clear my thoughts....sweat out by taking time to fix the pen of the hogs in our small farm...hoping that i will be renewed...for every sweep of the broom equates to a chunk of my body's toxins cast away...and by such, my attention refocused..my energy regained...for gazillion brand new challenges await me soon...

so different way than what's the norm.

but life for me has always been non-conforming.

else, things would not be special for me...if I do not take the road less traveled...in most of my journeys.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

archTECH talk

TIME flies so FAST...

who would think i would reach the age of 27...even I cannot embrace the fact that I am 2 years over a quarter of a century...

it has been 2 months and 16 days to be exact from my last blog entry...and it seems like years and years for me since the last time i entered my thoughts into this cyber wailing wall...

too many things have happened in the past 2 months...for one, Prison Break started season 3...haha...Bibo for all fanatics...but not too happy for me...since I hardly get free time for myself these days...

...who would think I'd end up becoming an entrepreneur at this age?
...a lovable niche...but quite tedious...more tedious than I ever imagined...

it paved way for me to meet an Architect who failed to deliver...a designer who was supposed to help me fulfill my plans smoothly...someone I paid to unburden me the hassle of spending more time, money and effort than what I already spent in vain...

Lesson learned: NEVER HIRE an ARCHITECT, or any professional for that matter, WHO does not even have a TRACK record of EXCELLENT DELIVERY...no matter how great the recommendations are...because TRACK record needs to be tangible...visible...better in black and white...

YES, indeed, I learned a very important lesson...learned in a very painful and costly way, but can be remembered eternally...and hopefully, same mistake I won't bother to commit again.

ARCHITECT L$zt3r B@n$0Z . . . a so-called professional who's doing things the most unprofessional way. . .

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Money

a few realizations I had in the previous 2 weeks or so...

...the business world is for the shrewd...

...that man is naturally greedy...
...that no matter how good a person is...money can do him/her otherwise...

humans are such complicated creatures...

...head to head, deed to deed, character to character...

the business world is complicated...costly....head to head, deed to deed, character to character...relationships...

yes indeed...it is for the shrewd...

Better days...

...STALEmate says...

...done....

...better off as friends...

...these are the better days...

...gone are the waiting days...

...and frustrated anticipation....

...the future is in the skies...

...MATE, inherit the future....

Saturday, July 07, 2007

on Blogging and Friendship....

It has been a week past due for me to write an autobiography...and I get to notice that what seems to be an easy task seems to be a very difficult thing to do when I am compelled to do it...


a few of my friends' comments below:

Raisa

Date: Monday, 2 July, 2007 6:52 PM

Subject: hey
Message: hello ate donna, i have read your blog. twas very articulately presented. ;) an offshoot of a wide reader...take care!

Cox
Date: Thursday, 28 June, 2007 4:32 PM
Subject: comments sana ako pero..
Message: I found your blog most amusing, among my many friendster friends that blog. I guess law + UP brought out more of the activist in you :).

Shootingstar

Date: Monday, 25 June, 2007 7:18 AM Subject: Hi Donna Message: I like to read ur

blogs. You impressed me much on

ur

ideas here. I like to be one of

ur

frenzzzzzzzz...
Thanks then and Take care. Stay blessed!-Agnes



From: sammer drummer

Sent: Wednesday, January 10, 2007 9:32:22 PM
Subject: it is extremly late to say marry x-mas or great New year

Well I just happend to open this to see the pile up

and I was just browsing through your blog through FS,
Interesting enough, it is good to know that you write
well.

Modesty aside, I have received multiple comments, verbal or written like the ones above, about the way I write...and not until today, I am finally convinced that there must be something about my composition which appeals to people...

...or may it could also be a relative appeal to people alike...who can pretty much relate to my predicament.

...i got to review some parts of my blog, and in its entirety, it's generally a page full of rants and raves of a normal struggling citizen / student / employee / employer / friend / daughter / sister / household parasite / roommate / commuter / taxpayer / bum, et al ... so many roles in this stage we call life ... roles which I have played in one or two of my life's segments quite wholeheartedly...

...may all of my thoughts articulately composed, or may it be how my heart yearns to be heard...i think what makes it appealing could be the fact that...my thoughts are TRUE...COMMON... an outburst of each and every person's day to day living...something that mirrors ordinary mortal experience.

...to all those who take time to read, I'd say...keep reading...there must be something in ME that connects to YOU...

...to those who dropped generous comments...THANK You...for making me realize that my brain coordinates very well with my heart...

...in this day and age when people tend to be very busy to get the chance to chitchat on life's smaller issues, I would extend my thanks to the tech-freaks who took time to bring life to the BLOGworld...my very own convenient version of a real PUNCHING bag...my virtual shock absorber...

I take it back my dearest friends...

...may you keep reading my blogs...


...and to this autobiography...

.....hmmmm....who knows where I'd start...

Thursday, June 28, 2007

A quarter of a probable Lifetime Dilemma

It has been 26 fine years...

...having been raised by a family of entrepreneurs, I was made to believe that diploma is not the key to success...nor any master's degree...nor excellent academic records...that no matter how intelligent a person is, grades are not the essentials of surviving the world...that my excellent study habits at a young age might not give me the ticket to succeed...

I'd categorize it as an unpublished propaganda of the family I grew up with that having your own business would better pay off for your needs and wants than neither being employed nor spending too much time in the University for all the degrees possible to attain.

...the classic Monopoly board game was one of our "bonding" activities...and at a young age, it was obvious to me what my father wanted to inculcate in us by playing this game...the Entrepreneurial spirit...a game that really trained my mind and spirit to gain confidence in taking BIG risks to be able to catch the BIG FISH.

...Monopoly, though a game of chance and strategy, quite was my GAME...and I can vividly remember the games I played mostly ended with me as the richest player among all...

...little did I know, a board game then seen as a FUN game, stirred in my subconscious mind to be secretly geared towards aiming at becoming a "conglomerate" in the real world...

to some, that could be GOOD, and to some might be NOT so GOOD, and maybe to some might be BAD...

years in college exposed me to people who had the academe as the priority for a lifetime...students with brilliant minds who depended on scholarships for their entire years of schooling...students who had parents who viewed "success" in a very different light. That success is congruent to gaining Masters Degree...PhDs...graduating with honors...and other priorities what have they more inclined to the academe.

it was with this diverse exposure, when the Then certain entrepreneurial ME started to develop a crisis in priority....

To wit...whether or not success is measured by the amount of money you have....or by the academic achievements you earn...

I recently got in for admission to a Masters Degree program in a field I fairly like in a very good school in Thailand...but none in my family seemed to get excited by the idea of me earning a degree abroad...

...On the contrary, I felt excitement in the air when I raised the idea of starting a business venture that could generate a very good income in a very short time...almost always the topic that fills the gap of silence between family members...business.

...just maybe...

Maybe after years of being away, I have forgotten the values which my family look up to...
...and maybe I just need to relearn the fact, that for some families, MONEY is what keeps the world turning...

...It couldn't be BAD nor GOOD nor SAD...but my decisions at the moment would revolve on priorities my family deems important...for reasons only I can answer...reasons only I can justify...and circumstances only I can understand.

...different strokes for different folks...

...if you were me, you'd probably do it your own way...

..but then again, the horns of a dilemma didn't occur for nothing...
1. (If A, then Y) and (If B, then Z).
2. A or B.
3. Therefore, Y or Z.

...my next few steps in the next few days would be giant leaps to realize one of these options..

with high conviction at the moment that this is definitely the RIGHT option for certain priorities I still deem RIGHT.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

an MVP uncelebrated

I attended my father's birthday party last night...his 54th year it is...
...i just realized i would be half his age this year...

...he might not have been a perfect father, as I have not been a perfect daughter to him...but what really PERFECTS his being and mine...is that very BIG love in our hearts that we don't let out in words through our mouths, but show in deed.

...I am thankful for all the winning moments I had in my life...but I am most grateful for the LOWEST moments...the exact moments when one person would think he/she is at the bottom of a very dark pit, and there might be no chance of seeing the light...For it was also the moment when he taught me how to Bounce Back Higher...and fight my own battles.

Yes, indeed...i see my life as a ballgame...a basketball game indeed...I am the ball and there are players of this Dream Team who dribble and toss me around to score some winning points...but in this dream team, there is one Man who happens to dribble me harder so i could bounce back a little higher than the others do, and tosses me with a little more push to speed up my momentum...that One player who struggles to keep me within boundaries...and makes sure i get to get a shooting point for a winning Game...the One I deem the Most Valuable Player...

MVPs are celebrated...rewarded...famed...

my MVP might have been judged by many...

...but what perfects him before my eyes, is a LOVING HEART...and despite all the twists and turns, I am his daughter and he is my father.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

the kind of stimuli i miss

not that i think i have a superior training...
...not that i think the others are inferior...

but there are times when I would tend to miss the company of people who talked the same talk that i talk...and think the same thoughts that i think...
...not exactly the same, but ones who can negate my ideas in the same level as i would assume it should be...

i never really appreciated the education i was getting...until i got out from THAT system...

THE State university might have been a pool of overwhelming ideas and talents...but it is something i miss wading on...

Yes, indeed...it was such a privilege to have been trained in THAT institution...
and it just struck me lately that people I once exchanged thoughts with on a daily basis are the ones I'd eventually miss when I get out of IT.

So long my fellow ISKOs and ISKAs...until we make such big difference for our country...I hope we meet again...

Monday, June 04, 2007

perfection

You Are 53% Perfectionist

No one would call you a perfectionist, but you definitely have a side of you that strives to be perfect.
Try to see your mistakes as learning experiences, and don't be so hard on yourself when you screw up!

attitude

Your Attitude is Better than 70% of the Population

You have a good attitude. While a realist, you do see the positive side of most things. People love to be around you.

single and happy

You Are Very Happy Being Single

You're not anti-relationship. You just don't need one to be content.
You find plenty of happiness from your life as it is.
And if you find someone you love, then that's just icing on an already decadent cake!

inner me no one can see

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are balanced, peaceful, and sincere.
You're the type of person who goes along to get along.
And you're definitely afraid of rocking the boat.

Underneath it all, you fear your world falling apart.
You'll put up with a situation that you don't like in fear of changing it.
Disruptive and forceful people intimidate you - and sometimes exploit you.

You don't have a boyfriend because....

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Busy

While a relationship sounds nice, you're strapped for time
Whether you're legitimately busy or just making excuses...
... You don't give men enough of your time.
As nice as "instant love" would be, there's just no such thing.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

dilema

Hugh Grant - Way Back Into Love

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past
I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

Oh oh oh

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end





More song lyrics at LyricsMode

Monday, May 21, 2007

on Polls and Stats...

what happens to the administration if GO dominates Team Unity in the senatorial seats?
it really depends if the Independent who won remains independent...among other many mitigating circumstances we can enumerate point blank...

On the other hand, i just learned that there are more Friendster addicts than UP students or those who get admitted to the state university...an institution where EDs (educational discussions) and nationalism was on every room and path but I deem trivial...like when you don't notice foul smelling air when you are immersed in it...

...it's also good to know that Friendster did become a venue for political awareness among our generation...the generation our parents thought would be a bunch of apathetic morons...

...i didn't cast my vote...but that is not apathy...a state of hopelessness manifested in one of its many forms...

...who knows...
...for change is definitely a process...

...and change can never be gray...it could be either for Better or Worse...

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

perseverance

Perseverance is failing nineteen times and succeeding the twentieth. — Julie Andrews

‏(الاسم) مواظبه على, مثابرة على, دأب على العم


Friday, May 11, 2007

How smart are you?

http://www.arcadetown.com/theidiottest/gameonline.asp

Open your mind.....

You Are 92% Open Minded

You are so open minded that your brain may have fallen out!
Well, not really. But you may be confused on where you stand.
You don't have a judgemental bone in your body, and you're very accepting.
You enjoy the best of every life philosophy, even if you sometimes contradict yourself.

Monday, April 30, 2007

...so worth posting...

Mikaela Irene Fudolig – BS Physics
Speech at the Commencement Exercises, UPD
April 22, 2007
16 yrs old. BS Physics. Summa Cum Laude.

One of the things that strike me as being very "UP
Diliman" is the way UPD students can't seem to stay on
the pavement. From every street corner that bounds an
unpaved piece of land, one will espy a narrow trail
that cuts the corner, or leads from it. Every lawn
around the buildings sports at least one of these
paths, starting from a point nearest to the IKOT stop
and ending at the nearest entry to the building. The
trails are beaten on the grass by many pairs of feet
wanting to save a fraction of a meter of traveling, no
matter that doing so will exact some cost to the
shoes, or, to the ubiquitous slippers, especially when
the trails are new.

What do these paths say about us, UP students?

One could say that the UP student is enamored with
Mathematics and Pythagoras, hence these triangles
formed by the pavement and the path. Many among you
would disagree.

Others could say that the UP student is naturally
countercultural. And the refusal to use the pavement
is just one of the myriads of ways to show his
defiance of the order of things. This time, many would
agree.

Still, others will say that the UP student is the
model of today's youth: they want everything easier,
faster, now. The walkable paths appeal to them because
they get to their destination faster, and presumably,
with less effort. Now that is only partly true, and
totally unfair.

These trails weren't always walkable. No doubt they
started as patches of grass, perhaps overgrown. Those
who first walked them must have soiled their shoes,
stubbed their toes, or had insects biting their legs,
all in the immovable belief that the nearest distance
between two points is a straight line. They might even
have seen snakes cross their paths. But the soiled
footwear, sore toes, and itchy legs started to conquer
the grass. Other people, seeing the yet faint trail,
followed. And as more and more walked the path, the
grass gave in and stopped growing altogether, making
the path more and more visible, more and more
walkable.

The persistence of the paths pays tribute to those UP
students who walked them first – the pioneers of the
unbeaten tracks: the defiant and curious few who
refuse the familiar and comfortable; the
out-of-the-box thinkers who solve problems instead of
fretting about them; the brave who dare do things
differently, and open new opportunities to those who
follow.

They say how one behaved in the past would determine
how he behaves in the future. And as we leave the
University, temporarily or for good, let us call on
the pioneering, defiant, and brave spirit that built
the paths to guide us in this next phase of our life.

We have been warned time and again. Our new world that
they call "adulthood" is one that's full of
compromises, where success is determined more by the
ability to belong than by the ability to think, where
it is much easier to do as everyone else does. Daily
we are bombarded with so much news of despair about
the state of our nation, and the apparent, perverse
sense of satisfaction our politicians get from
vilifying our state of affairs. It is fashionable to
migrate to other countries to work in deceptively
high-paying jobs like nursing and teaching, forgetting
that even at their favored work destinations, nurses
and teachers are some of the lowest paid
professionals. The lure of high and immediate monetary
benefits in some low-end outsourcing jobs has drawn
even some of the brightest UP students away from both
industry and university teaching to which they would
have been better suited.

Like the sidewalks and pavement, these paths are the
easiest to take.

But, like the sidewalks and pavement, these paths take
longer to traverse, just as individual successes do
not always make for national progress. The unceasing
critic could get elected, but not get the job done.
The immigrant could get his visa, but disappear from
our brainpower pool. The highly paid employee would be
underutilized for his skills, and pine to get the job
he truly wants, but is now out of his reach. And the
country, and we, are poorer because of these.

Today, the nation needs brave, defiant pioneers to
reverse our nation's slide to despair. Today, we must
call upon the spirit that beat the tracks. Today, we
must present an alternative way of doing things.

Do NOT just take courage, for courage is not enough.
Instead, be BRAVE! It will take bravery to go against
popular wisdom, against the clichéd expectations of
family and friends. It will take bravery to gamble
your future by staying in the country and try to make
a prosperous life here. It might help if for a start,
we try to see why our Korean friends are flocking to
our country. Why, as many of us line up for immigrant
visas in various embassies, they get themselves
naturalized and settle here. Do they know something we
don't?

Do NOT just be strong in your convictions, for
strength is not enough. Instead, DEFY the pressure to
lead a comfortable, but middling life. Let us lead
this country from the despair of mediocrity. Let us
not seek to do well, but strive to EXCEL in everything
that we do. This, so others will see us as a nation of
brains of the highest quality, not just of brawn that
could be had for cheap.

Take NOT the road less traveled. Rather, MAKE new
roads, BLAZE new trails, FIND new routes to your
dreams. Unlike the track-beaters in campus who see
where they're going, we may not know how far we can
go. But if we are brave, defiant searchers of
excellence, we will go far. Explore possibilities,
that others may get a similar chance. I have tried it
myself. And I'm speaking to you now.

But talk is cheap, they say. And so I put my money
where my mouth is. Today, I place myself in the
service of the University, if it will have me. I would
like to teach, to share knowledge, and perhaps to be
an example to new UP students in thinking and striving
beyond the limits of the possible. This may only be a
small disturbance in the grass. But I hope you'll come
with me, and trample a new path.

Good evening, everyone.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

callcenter underrated

A discussion board in a group here in friendster caught my attention recently...a post which gathered opinion on the current "YUPPIES" taking a career step in the callcenter industry and not being able to practice their respective professions...

Contrary to what most people think about careers in callcenters, my stand is otherwise...

it is a known fact to me ever since i stepped in college, and there is no need to convince me, that indeed our educational system is flawed and inefficient...and it has always become a DIPLOMA MILL for the past decades...and is still at the present...

I remember so vividly how "LOST" i was when i stepped out of high school since i lacked the guidance and exposure of the many possible career paths there would be to pursue in the "FUTURE" which is as we speak is the PRESENT...

my point is, if the government had focused its energies on improving our educational system rather than politics and earning millions from "MILITARY strategies" then I think our brilliant and well-educated WORKFORCE might not be at their place right now receiving calls from First World countries and working on graveyard shifts for the FAT PAYCHECKs for premium pays for the days work during holidays which they are supposed to be spending with their families....

...if the government had been serious about its business of existing FOR the people and BY the people, we might have not become a country of CHEAP LABOR for the arrogant Richer countries...and it could have been us kicking their asses...

...and who knows...popping up of Nursing Schools might never have occured...

...and i still keep thinking WHAT IF...

Friday, March 30, 2007

paradise


Relaxing sanctuary...
El Nido..palawan...

my recent vacation made me realize that it's not the sophisticated development of a place that would make it a cut above the rest...
Palawan to me is like a sleeping giant with very amiable people and a stress-free attitude wherever you go. At this time ang age, I found a very serene place where people might not even know what STRESS means...waters are still...air is calm...and people are so carefree and cool-headed that you'd tend to forget the realities of life's Pressures and Timetables...
As efforts are made to protect mother nature, Human Nature of kindness and calmness is also well restored in Palawan...
...for the likes who want to untangle from the busy Urban Zone with fascinating warmth of its people, PALAWAN is the Place to be...

Monday, February 05, 2007

i think it is more FUN being a MAN

if i could change my place with becoming a MAN, i would.

...men don't give birth. They don't get to carry an eventually 6-8 pounder in their tummy from 0-9 months and cry like hell to push it out of their body on the 9th month.

...men can choose when to get married...and are not pressured by what's called "biological deadline" and can contribute to procreation for as long as they can.

...men can get to upgrade their wives...and don't get to be branded as the "mistress" or the "homewrecker"...but rather the "macho guy".

...men can get to dominate the workplace and don't feel guilty that they might get to turn off the most "eligible" bachelorette for having a dominant personality.

...men can stay up all night and bury their heads in buckets of beer without feeling fear of being molested by their own drinking "buddies" or by the other guys in the streets.

...men can get to change their own tires without people around feeling sorry for them.

...and the best part of all...men are far from getting UTI! they can urinate on any spot whenever convenient!

...what's more fun than being a MAN!

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Don't Read This

I said...don't read this...
you're still reading it...
...and still reading...
...if you happen to reach this part, then just keep on reading...
...I promised myself not to write anything on my blog anymore...

...but here I go again...

this blog becomes my habitual outlet and it becomes more convenient than having to talk it out...
...yesterday was my laziest day...I spent the whole day watching Grey's Anatomy...up to series 3...and then i realized we get glued to something which conveys our own frustrations, joys, and reflections....the reason i could not hit the stop button of the dvd player come meal time...

...exactly the reason why surprisingly, people get to read your blogs...

...my friends comment so much about my blog entries when we have the chance to meet and catch up on each other...it feels a little intruding sometimes, but i bump my head and realize blogs are intended for intrusion...and it gets to be intruded in the world wide web...

...so then again...my blog entries are not the whole of me...it's more of, the dark side of me which i choose not to show to friends, strangers, or clients in front of me...

...til my keyboard refuses to tap when i hit its keys, i might cease not to type words which might not sound pleasant when said through my mouth...

..keep reading, intruders!

...Grey's Anatomy anyone?

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Courage Knows No Uncertainties

A brief talk with my uncle-in-law made me realize how much courage I have within me to be able to make quick decisions in my life.

But it also made me realize how coward I have been for quite a lengthy time...for not doing what I really want to do.

i begin to ponder on so many decisions i have made in the past and ultimately it all boils down to very important factors...MONEY over HAPPINESS or HAPPINESS over MONEy...

having both is a bit impossible...

One can never be able to serve 2 masters at a time...

...SO then, I must choose...
...and I guess, the best choice would still be the latter...

...it has been a tiring journey...pleasing everybody eventually gets tiresome...

time has run out.

i guess it is about time for me to do otherwise

Sunday, January 21, 2007

When Your Boss Becomes Difficult

I had a very hard day on the job site yesterday...And for the longest time since I had my lowest point...it is seemed like i was dragged down to that point once again..

People seem to tread life like travelling in a sinusidal wave...and it puzzles me why no matter how hard you try...things seem to fall apart at a certain point in that journey...

What really bothers me right now is beyond simple understanding....

When everyone is so busy celebrating the Sinulog festiva in our Cityl...here I am sulking for hours and crying buckets of tears...

YES INDEED...I know problems seem to kick your butt all the time...A painful sign that you are alive...coz you can still feel pain...

Just tonight, I happen to open an email from a friend...
A Nepalese friend I met in Hongkong who works for a traveller's lounge at the hongkong international airport...SANJAY...somebody who's miles away...and who barely knows me....just touched me like an angel....

I seemed to forget about the best
person to call. And yes, Sanjay you are right...JESUS SHOULD TAKE MY WHEEL....

absurd me...How could I ever forget...and indeed, i cried so much tears....
how can i ever forget....that only JESUS knows how to heal...

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